AC Infusion #2 5-23-10

WOW!, what a night! The side effects from this infusion were different from the last. It hit me sooner and really put me on my back. My head was spinning, even before I left the doctors office. I felt like I was having the world's worse hangover. As the evening came, anytime I closed my eyes I hallucinated food dancing around or sliding through my field of view on a background of crazy plaids no one would ever conceive of, not doing much to improve my condition. I tried my best to find my calm, peaceful place through my yoga meditations skills, but just as I would settle in, something like a starbucks coffee, french bread loaf, or baked turkey would go floating though my "third eye". I can't believe some people pay money to take illegal drugs to have hallucinations. I much prefer to be in control of my own thoughts! It made it hard to relax and sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. Scot held my hand for a while. This seemed to help ground and relax me. Eating and drinking was hard due to an upset stomach, but I didn't throw up this time, which pleased the kids and my Mom and Scot who are my cleanup crew.

After waking up about every two hours throughout the night with either chills, sweats, or vivid hallucinations. I slowly but surely got better throughout the day on Friday. At noon, I felt pretty well, compared to this time last week. I had chicken and rice soup and some mini bagels and tea. I was afraid to take my new anti-nausea medication in the morning, for fear that it was that med that caused my hallucinations. But that is not what did it, so I am going to blame the combination of all the drugs given at the infusion for the misery I felt Thursday night. I am so glad that I only have two of those AC infusions left!

Friday afternoon I went to the oncologist to receive a neulasta shot to boost my bone marrow production of white blood cells so I don't dip so low this time. There was some disconnect in the office and I ended up waiting in the waiting room, for 30 minutes wishing I was home taking a nap. Sadly, the delay allowed me to be present to witness a woman having a severe reaction to one of her infusion drugs. It was very difficult to witness. They were able to help her after much suffering on her part, and she was being taken to the hospital by ambulance when I finally left. I pray for her and I hope her reaction does not prevent her from getting well. I just pray that my friend and I who are going through this together don't have anything similar to this on our road ahead.

Friday night Scot was amazing. He got Braden to band practice with his amp, which I can no longer carry, then from there directly to a pool party. From there he drove Meghan directly to an immensely fun Hogwarts, dress-up party for one of Meg's neatest friends, in which he crafted a Hogwarts tie for Meghan to wear using a red tie and yellow duct tape. Oh, I forgot, earlier in the day he swung by a friends house in another neighborhood to pick up a Hogwarts robe and hat for her to wear. Then he rushed back to the pool party to supervise Braden. Brought Brady home and turned around and went back out to retrieve Meg. All after a long day at Dell. Kudos to you Scot!

Saturday I got out of the house. I briefly visited with some neighbors and then went to Panera Bread Company for lunch and I had some mild and delicious potato soup that was just right with their yummy bread. I came home and visited with a friend on the back porch till it got too hot and I got tired. It was nice to have that outside, in person interaction. I dozed and ate more soup, this time from Olive Garden. Went to bed early, but I am now up at 3:00 and ready for breakfast. Where is everyone?!!

I do have a bit of a headache this morning, but I expect that will go away with some food and drink. I want to get back to "normal" today without overdoing things. I am hoping to accomplish a little light yard work, with a lot of supervising of my helpers, polite, constructive supervising of course. I want to get a crack at the lasagna leftovers my friend made for my family today before it's all gone too.

Braden and Meghan are doing well. This is their last week of school. It has been a good school year for both kids, with amazing teachers and good classmates. It's nice to have things winding down and responsibilities going away, but it's bittersweet with Braden graduating from Fifth Grade and Elementary this year. His big day is Friday. I know I will be feeling great by then, I just hope I'm not too emotional. I will for sure post photos of that event. Scot took photos of Meg dressed as Hermione for the party. I'll have to post one of those too.

I can't complain about the care I get here at home. I get whatever I want or need to feel better. I am extremely lucky to have the medical care, family and friends I have supporting me. I read that cancer gives you clarity. It's true. I see very clearly how lucky I am and all the things in my life that make this journey nothing more than a bump in the road. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and that's being completely cured and living the good life. Each treatment, no matter how yucky gets me one step closer to that. As hard as some of these things are, they can not overpower the blessings in my life or my feeling of how lucky and fortunate I am.